The Washington Ten Commandments

Is it just me, or are these congressional scandals getting out of control? It’s getting to be that C-SPAN ought to be on pay-per-view somewhere between “Ultimate Fighting” and the “Play Boy Channel.” Maybe we should call it “Congressmen Gone Wild.”
Are our standards as voters too high? Some have suggested that the high-pressure environment of Washington D.C. naturally leads to corruption, and that this sort of thing shouldn’t surprise us. This is why I am proposing that we tweak our moral codes just a little bit to allow senators and congressmen and women just a little more wiggle room. Where better to start than the 10 commandments. So now without further, adieu, I unveil to you the new and improved Washington 10 Commandments:

I. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before me unless they contribute to thy campaign.

II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images by which of course we do not mean campaign posters, commercials, and statue of thyself in thy home town.

III. Thou shalt use the name of the Lord thy God however thou wanteth in order to win political points with Christian voters.

IV. Remember the Sabbath day and visit Churches in order to solicit campaign contributions.

V. Honor thy lobbyist and ignore thy constituents. What did they ever do for you? Except… you know… vote for you.

VI. Thou shalt not murder, but if thou dost, check into rehab and blame it on a drinking problem.

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery and get caught. If thou dost, don’t forget: rehab.”

VIII. Thou shalt not steal. (wink)

IV. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Instead, do thy best to bear vague legal mumbo jumbo that clouds the truth. Oh yeah, and of course: rehab.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy opponent’s success. Simply produce a campaign add that accuses him of taking bribes from Osama Bin Laden and let the chips fall where they may.

I know there are some who will protest the idea of holding our lawmakers to a lower ethical standard than that to which we hold ourselves. But you can’t expect so much of folks who are living in Washington. It’s hard over there. When the values party can’t live up to our values, then there are really only two possibilities. Either there’s something wrong with the party or there’s something wrong with our values. I think we all know which of those is more likely.